I’ve been stumbling and praying about what the Lord wants me to share with you next. I’ve wavered about not even continuing blogging, even took my blog down completely, but quickly realized that that was the enemy entering my mind again and telling me things like “I’m not good enough”, “no one reads it anyway”,” I’m wasting my time”, “no one likes it”, “no on will notice”. All. The. Lies. I even told my friends I was going to quit blogging because I was struggling a bit again with my depression and wanted to just give up everything I’ve done so far. Why encourage others when I can’t even encourage myself? It’s so stinking’ hard when we allow the enemy’s voice to be louder than the Lords.
Then, this came up and spoke to me like nothing has in a while.
You see, I’ve been in a broken place. A healing place. A really hard place. And when things get hard, I quit. When I start struggling with depression again, I quit. That’s just always been my default. And it’s something I’m not proud of, but also something I’m working on changing. This quote that Proverbs 31 shared hit the nail on the head for me personally. I haven’t been posting anything encouraging lately because in my struggle, I couldn’t seem to find it in me to encourage others. Not even with scripture. I wasn’t feeling it myself, so I can’t give it to anyone else. But this opened my eyes. It’s in our brokenness that we should still show the love of Christ to others. It’s in our healing, no matter how painful, that people need to see Christ in us. I believe as I encourage others, I also feel a little encouraged myself.
And I’m so thankful the Lord showed me that this week. My prayer is that, although I will feel defeated again, the Lord will remind me of His saving grace. Of His love for me. Although I will doubt that I can do this, He will remind me of His purpose for me during this season because even though I may be struggling, there is still purpose. That we all can encourage each other because we’re all in a place of brokenness and healing in some way.